Welcome to Let’s Talk Ladylike!

3.20.20

How does one actually start a blog? Where do you begin? Do you jump right in, set up the story, pick a topic and stick to it, etc.? The possibilities are endless! I've had a blog once before... I started it right when I moved to NYC for college, and it was meant to capture my wise thoughts at the ripe age of 19. In fact, I can hear my friend Jeremiah laughing at me from wherever he is right now- he found it one day and outed me in front of all our friends. Let's just say it was a lame-ish blog.

Anyway, there's a lot I want to write about. And part of me doesn't know where to start. But I feel like I just need to start writing about something, and maybe some formal structure will come at some point down the road- or maybe not. So for now, I'll just start writing. This is my story- we all have a story. We all have experiences that shape and form us, who we are, what we believe, and how we fit into the world we're a part of. I believe that our stories were made to be heard- not so that people just know more about us, but because stories and shared experiences bring people together. Other people's stories about life, hardships, pain, joy, successes, failures- their stories have brought me hope and a sense of belonging. Their stories have reminded me that I am not alone. I hope that my story is one that reminds people they are not alone. I hope that my story is one that helps others find freedom and healing.

I live in Sunnyside, Queens (about 20 minutes outside NYC) with my husband, Nate, and our two cats, Chip and Joanna. We have been married for almost three years, and knew each other for about .2 seconds (okay- we were getting to know each other for 3 months and then dated for a month and a half) before we decided to get married and got engaged. When ya know, ya know! Nate is a freelance graphic designer, and absolutely loves the work he gets to do. I currently work as a part-time educator at lululemon- and while I love the work that I do, I still feel at times that there's something particular that I was made for. I don't exactly know what that is, so I'm exploring and learning and getting curious about myself, and pursuing every little lead that comes up.

I was officially diagnosed by doctors with endometriosis and vaginismus in 2018, even though Nate and I knew long before that what was happening with my health. (Doctors weren't listening to us, but more on that later.) I grew up with painful periods, was never able to use tampons, and when Nate and I got married and time came for us to have sex, we found out that penetration was impossible (what we found out later was vaginismus). Our wedding day was half magical/half the day from hell, and was kind of the official start of my health going downhill very fast. Endometriosis and vaginismus have impacted our lives and marriage in more ways than we ever thought possible, but with a lot of research, persistence, prayers, and fighting for my health and our marriage- we have come a very long way from where we started. I couldn't have done this without Nate by my side, and I am so glad that we fought for it all. And I'm grateful that Nate fought for me when I couldn't fight anymore, and that we pushed for the answers and help we knew we needed.

I have had one excision surgery to remove endometriosis growth, in January 2019; am currently going to pelvic floor physical therapy for vaginismus and surgery recovery; and Nate and I are going to marriage counseling with an emphasis on sex therapy as we work through the mental, physical, and emotional roadblocks that have come from all of these things. One thing we know through all of this- there is healing and there is hope. This is our story, and our story will continue to change and morph. We know we will not be stuck here forever, even though there are moments, days, or weeks where we feel like this will be the only story our marriage will see and experience. In the midst of the struggle, we constantly have to remind ourselves of the MASSIVE healing we've seen the Lord do, physically, mentally, and emotionally- and though there's still so much work to be done, we can't help but rejoice and give thanks for how far we've come!

So here's to all of our stories. Stories that bring people together, stir up hope and belonging, and create a sense of empathy and understanding among one another. I long for this space to see many people's stories and experiences- not just my own, so that we can learn from each other and recognize that we are not alone in this world. We were made to be loved and accepted. We were made to rejoice with one another, and to mourn with one another. We were made to support and encourage one another- no one is meant to do this life alone. So plug in to community, find your people, and allow yourself to be loved and cared for. I hope that this space can be a place of community for you too.

As this space continues to grow, it'll be sort of a hodge-podge mixture of things. I'll be sharing my own experiences with endometriosis, vaginismus, periods, sex therapy, sex, anxiety, and more. I also hope to share stories from other women (and men) about their own experiences in life surrounding women's health. So if you or someone you know has a story or experience that needs to be heard, send it my way! I'd love to journey with you. This is a space dedicated to women's health and opening the conversation for greater understanding and knowledge, so be ready for a myriad selection of posts.

And disclaimer: I am not a doctor. I only share what I have experienced and know, or what others have experienced. So please do not take my words as medical advice. What I can suggest is that if any of these things ever resonate with you, and you feel like any of these conditions might be something you have- go see a doctor and ask about it. I know that finding a doctor who will actually listen to you and do the right thing can be difficult- so I have listed a couple trusted doctors and therapists on the Resources page! Take a look and reach out if you know any other tried and true doctors and therapists to add.

With all that said, that's it for my first post. Just a little intro for ya. Thanks for journeying with me. Until next time!